Do I really have to "Love myself just the way I am" in order to lose weight?

Sam and I had a little conversation the other day regarding loving yourself just the way you are. It went something like this:

Question: I don't understand how it works to "love your body just the way it is now" when it seems like that is just giving your body permission to stay the way it is. Besides, as much as I work on it, I don't always love my body the way it is. Do I need to love my body in order to lose weight?

Answer: You do not have to love your body in order to lose weight.  You have done it in the past - forced your body into that smaller state.  But the results did not last long. Shaming and punishing your body into submission is not the answer. 

You do not have to "love yourself just the way you are" but you do need to stop the war with your body.  Fighting against anything does not make it go away. It only makes it worse. Stop fighting against your body. 

If you are feeling a jolt of negative emotion every time you button your pants or every time you see yourself in the mirror, that jolt of negative emotion is what is causing you feel you are in a war with your body. It does not matter if the negative emotion is frustration, anger, sadness, or fear - all of these will trigger your "fight or flight" survival mechanism.  Your body thinks you are at war with it. 

If you want to stop being at war with your body, you might try this two-step process: 1) first have a plan and then 2) change the jolt of negative energy to positive.

Step 1) The Plan

Put some plan into place. Make it very simple to start.  Over-complicating will just stress the body and activate the survival system.  

Something like: "I will add 10 minutes of activity each day for the next 5 days"  OR "I will not skip meals today and I will not eat between meals"

NOTE from Kat:  I have quit trying to squeeze in time to go to the gym or go for a walk or bike ride, or whatever.  This was stressing me out to try to find the time for exercising when my house was a mess and I still had to make supper.  So, I have changed my outlook on activity.  I have realized, thanks to Sam's help, that house work and cooking for the family are activities, too.  When I want to add more activity to my day,  I will vacuum an extra floor, or do an extra load of laundry. For now, that is working for me. I am less stressed because I am not trying to find exercise time and my house is cleaner. 

Step 2) The next time you start to feel frustration while trying to button your pants,  or when you see yourself in the mirror, stop the negative emotion as quickly as possible and say "Thank you, for reminding me that I have a plan in place. I have 5 minutes right now.  I think I will go sweep the front porch."  (or something similar - find wording that feels right to you)

You can also use these two steps for other areas of your life, like finances, or relationships. 

Try these two steps for 30 days and see the difference.